MAHHHHH

I have exactly two days to spend with my friends before I leave them forever. That's really, really, really, depressing. I don't know whether you know how that feels, but I'm scared. Honestly. I've never been truly scared in my life but now this is real. I don't want to make new "BFF's" and forget about my friends here. But I don't want to hang on too tight when I really can't and stay depressed in my new school. I'm scared, and sad, and angry, and frustrated, and confused.... please, tell me what to do. I don't know what's going on.

My brains will explode. Well, more likely melt. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry or rip someone's face off.

First of all:

You DON'T (and let me repeat, DON'T) know what it feels like to love something so much your brain is getting dizzy, and then have it ripped away from you. Well, maybe you do. But you don't know what it's like to have to leave something, detach it from your mind and heart so you know it won't hurt as much when you leave it.

Second of all:
Life sucks. I hate life. I'm afraid of life. Therefore, I decided it would be better if I was not alive at all.

Third of all:
I don't want to be a coward, because if life is the thing I hate, I'm going to face it. No matter how hard it is.

Fourth of all:
It's hard to... control yourself. I really, really want to, and I've almost always had, all my life. I've not cried for... several years? I've not expressed my overwhelming feelings for something for a while either. Believe me, if I didn't restrain myself I'd either be crying my head off, killing everyone, killing myself, or hugging and kissing everyone. I'm pretty emotional. So I keep it under control... but here's the bad news. It's leaking.

Finally:
This post is really a small version of his section of my life right now. I'm... least to say, confused. And angry. And sad. And disbelieving. But most of all (I think), I'm giving up.

I hope this won't last.

Before I Die

I read this awesome book about a girl who has a couple months left to live (she has cancer). She decides that she'll do 10 things, and she won't die until she finishes them because she has always wanted to do them. She doesn't care how bad they are for her because she's dying anyway. Read it, seriously. It's good.

So I thought, why can't I do the same thing? Here are 10 things I need to do before I die.

1. Get a degree. Doesn't matter in what. Just get one.

2. Fall in love. Because I don't know what it feels like.

3. Lose my virginity to that person. Because I wonder if what people say is true.

4. Write a book. I've always wanted to.

5. Be healthy and athletic for the rest of my life. Who doesn't want to?

6. Get an X-Box and play it until my brains burst. Okay, not literally. Almost.

7. Never dye or change my hair. Only cutting is allowed.

8. Make a movie. Make it epic.

9. Know that someone cares. Which hasn't exactly happened.

10. Be remembered. Most likely not happening.

That's going to happen, before I die.

I love you guys...

Sup. Right now, I am in the middle of class. And blogging. And working. And checking my email. And disobeying rules. MUAHAHAHAHA

I am feeling grateful for my best blogger buddies right now, so I will tag them here:

WCL92

TheCheshireKat(DG95)

Akire/Peregrin

Moonstar

BLUE

Sunset

And hopefully more!!!

I love you all, thank you for being awesome and making me a blogger!!! :D:D:D:D:D

7 Random Things About Me

I told you guys I'd do this in the last post, so here it is!

1. I have an obsession with blades. I mean, daggers, katanas, falchions, butterfly knives, hunting knives, spears, khopesh, scimitars, odachis, bastard swords... you name it, I love it.

2. I hate it when people are overly happy. It's like, stop being so happy! Why do you get to be so happy when I don't, dammit?! There's no such thing as being that happy.

3. I am obsessed with writing. Ever since 2nd grade, I've loved writing as much as I love blades. And that's saying a lot.

4. I used to go around acting like the characters in the books I like (ie. Harry Potter, Seeker, Graceling).

5. Computers and laptops will be my demise. I will end up picking up trash from the sidewalks in a florescent orange vest as a job if I keep being addicted to blogging, reading fanfics, watching videos, and gaming.

6. I don't care about how I look or what my opinion is. I only brush my hair to keep it out of my face, I only copy others because I admire them, and I only do things because I think their worth doing.

7. Before writing this, I had no idea what to write. I'm serious. I know I told you guys I was going to think about what to write but I guess I lied a bit because I couldn't think of anything.

That's my 7 random facts! Hope you enjoyed them!

~fflight

P.S. If you are still a reader, I hope you received my virtual cookies. I put all my effort into them.

Very Awkward Science Test...

Boogle Diggy Doom Doggles.

If you're still reading this blog about my stupid life I am sending you a plate of virtual snickerdoodles and oatmeal cookies right now. Like, now. NOW.

Right, to the main point:

Today we had the most awkward science test like EVER. Swear to Everydeityintheworldincludingatheism. Because guess what it was about? Yeah, the Endocrine, Excretory, and Reproduction Systems. If you don't know what that means, I won't tell you. Look it up yourself.

Basically, we stared at pictures of naked men and women for a month and learned about parts then finally stared at those pictures some more, except we were thinking a lot harder and we were a lot more frustrated because half of us studied and half of the half that studied actually remembered what they studied.

Woah. Long sentence.

...

Anyway, I heard about the Tag thing, about how if you were tagged you'd have to tag another fifteen people and write 7 random facts about yourself. I didn't get tagged (*cry*) but I thought I could still do the 7 random facts, which would be pretty fun (yeah. i know i'm boring).

So that's going to be on the next post. I'm going to think of random things about myself now.

See ya, faithful readers (I hope...)!

~fflight/stormy

ME

So I just realized.

Nobody actually knows much about me, so I might as well tell people.

THINGS I LIKE:

Color: Black

Animal: Cheetah

Mythical Animal: Wyvern

Type of food: TAIWANESE

Appetizer: ... Drunken chicken? From Ding Tai Feng?

Main Course: OMG. GUA BAO. Or beef noodles.

Dessert: ... Red bean buns.

Drink: Taiwanese bubble tea. :D

Country: Don't even ask. TAIWAN.

Vegetable: BAK CHOI. Lol JK. I don't actually know.

Fruit: Guava FTW! :)

Soy Bean product: Not sure what the english name is, but 豆花.

Anime: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or Lucky Star

Manga: Case Closed

THINGS I DON'T LIKE:

Color: Any shade of pink.

Animal: Cockroach.

Type of food: The type that makes you obese

Drink: Expresso. Go to hell.

Country: Not going to answer.

Vegetable: Bitter melon

Anime: NONE

Manga: NONE

THINGS THAT I DO A LOT:

Write.

Read.

Dance.

Sing... maybe.

Game (computer).

Super Smash Bros Brawl.

RP.

Make videos.

Go on YouTube.

iChat.

Be depressed. (LOL jk. But seriously.)

THINGS THAT I HATE DOING:

Homework.

Saying sorry.

See people be way too happy.

Being depressed.

Watching Taiwan be discriminated.

Inhaling pollution every moment of my life.

Having allergies.

Watching people I love change into the kind of people I hate.

There's more.

A LOT more.

But I'd be writing until 2013 if I didn't stop now. So... that's it for now!

~fflight

DAMN!

I've been an idiot.

I've been a *BLEEP*ing idiot.

DAMN.

That's all I'm going to say. Because

I feel really bad right now

BECAUSE I HAVEN'T POSTED HERE FOR LIKE A YEAR.

Okay, maybe not a year.

But I HAVEN'T POSTED HERE FOR AT LEAST 3 MONTHS.

DAMN.

Back! Finally!

So I've been away. Sorry, FalconClan, Camp Demigod, IvyClan, BlazingClan, CedarClan, IceClan, HawkClan, my friends, Gmail, and everything I do on the web that I haven't been updating, adding, and replying. I'm not dead yet. Unfortunately.
Yes.
I am suicidal.
...
No, of course I'm not. What do you think I am, crazy?

ANYWAY, I just got back from NYC for Christmas (my grandparents and half my family live there), and I am missing the snow. I'm not even kidding. I mean, it snowed 19 inches. 19 FRICKEN INCHES!!! So my cousins (two of them, ages eight and ten) and I dug trenches with these huge shovels (well, not the eight year old one). And guess what? WE RELIVED TRENCH WARFARE!!!!! It was awesome :) My idea, of course. They didn't even know what it was until I told them. Whatever.

I'm actually super psyched to start school on Monday. You might think I'm crazy, but my reason isn't. I haven't seen my best friends, not even talk to them, not even ONLINE, in 2 weeks. But it feels like a year. But it's all the same anyway (no, it's not). Next time I'm here, I might seem emo, okay? I just get... dark sometimes. But don't mind me, bother with your own life and make snow angels or something. Because here, we DON'T HAVE SNOW. You lucky--

I'm not going to swear. I'm not. So because I can't swear, and because I have to take a shower, and because I have a TON of other things to do, I'm going to go. So bye!

OH YEAH!!!! I'm going to make a Harry Potter/Warriors RP Blog!!! Yay!!!!!! Tell me what you think okay? Comment!

Now I really have to go.

BYEEEEE!

Hey.

So, this is my blog. This is where I talk to you (or really myself... or my computer), where I vent my feelings, where I go when I'm bored, where I go when I really just want to write, where I post random pieces of writing for you guys to comment on, etc. Don't have much to say except... Enjoy!